Thursday, March 15, 2012

I went to the beach again and looked out across the water for any sign of a whale.  As I searched, the alder tree behind me bent down and grabbed me, stuffing me into a small cave beneath its roots.  I tumbled down the rabbit hole and ended up in another control room, scratched and dirty.  I walked over to the metal table with two buttons and sat down. 

To the alien, I said, "You know, you could just come to my house and discuss this problem.  If you are able to disguise a trap as an alder tree, you could easily cover up that third eye.  A hat would do the trick just fine."

He said, "This gives me plausible deniability."

I looked at the buttons, which were red and orange this time.  I held my hand over the red one and looked at the alien.

He said, "Of course, they aren't active yet.  Today, the red one still wipes out all humans.  The orange one releases a virus that increases the intelligence of all humans.  By tweaking a few gene locations, we can stimulate the body to release endorphins and oxytocin whenever people read books or learn new information or skills.  Humans would value knowledge above all, and they would logically conclude that the health of the planet was in their own best interests.  Would you be at all inclined to press the orange button?"

"I don't know.  I mean, I score much higher than average on IQ tests, and I still do stupid things.  Plus, I haven't been able to figure out how to convince people to do things that are in their best interests.  Intelligent people often delude themselves.  I'm not at all sure the orange virus would work.  I suppose you could try it for a year, and have the red virus as a backup.  Why do you care so much about Earth's biosphere when the people who live here don't care?"

"Your form of evolved life carries a wealth of information.  Molecules have been synthesized by nature that we could never have imagined.  There are processes and relationships that we could study for centuries in order to increase our own knowledge base.  Once those life forms are gone, most of their data goes with them.  Of course, we don't feel these species should die based on the arbitrary whims of people, but the lost opportunity as just as great as the loss of life itself."

"Well, I hope you find the right formula, because we are running out of time."

Again, I woke up in a bed full of dogs, wondering if I smelled like fresh earth.

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